Sth.St.Nth.

Flame to dust, Lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end..

 

lonely man as fast food

i chated with a boy in the chatroom

and then we had a long happy conversation by phone.

i like his way of speaking, gentle and soundful.

we talked about detail of bodies each of us, body hair, body shape, outlook, and, of course everything about dick.

it`s ambiguous talk, i thougt i was fell in love again.

on the second night, he came to the street of my aparlment, i lied to him and didnt see him.

later,on the internet.  we sent pic to each other.

he is not handsome, anyway, i dont care it too much.

bty, i am also a commen boy.

the next few days, i tried to contact him by msg and call, no response.

today, he is online, i said, u r quite busy these days.

he said, i had bf already, no contact anymore. thank you.

aha..lonely man as fastfood, i didnt have even taste.

posted by: kenichii at August 27, 2007 11:25 | link | comments |
queer as folk

小明

一年后,再次在msn上遇到小明,心里甚是高兴.

小明说,我在寺院待了两个月,想是<颂偈>便源于此.

小明如今在西安的某所大学当教师,也许这是很适合他的工作.对于小明这样的文化青年还有比这更好的工作么.

近来心情跌到谷底, 被朋友伤心到心痛, 工作的事情也不甚顺心, 打电话给妈妈却发现她似乎正是更年期,她漫无目的的唠叨让人无所适从.

我始终是一个缺乏安全感的人, 为人又冷漠, 也许这就是朋友们离我渐行渐远的缘故吧, 也只好暗自悲苦的笑笑.

这样让人无可奈何, 仿佛被千万蛛丝藤蔓缠住手脚,又给堵塞了耳光,遮掩了双眼, 叫喊也出不了声来.

去辽阳, 在外国语大学的围墙外,卖旧书的老爷子说的好: 每个人都要找到自己的位置.

我的位置是什么呢.

我该如何是好呢.

小明说, 感情是你本身的一部分, 不是奖赏也不是惩罚.这是他在寺院静修两月的心得.

咂摸着,这话还挺有味道.

 

 

 

posted by: kenichii at August 25, 2007 12:55 | link | comments |
days after days

年纪

和妹妹去动物园服装市场逛街

看着打扮的很新潮的青年男女

突然就觉得自己老了似的

也许因为太多的心事

也许因为荒废了太久

这样恐惧老去的情绪,让人更加没有依托

更缺乏安全的感觉起来

于是更加的渴望能奇迹般的遇到爱情

那种渴望很强烈

让人变的肉欲翻滚却仍然不会满足

其实缺的是心灵的归属

有人对我哀求, 献媚, 表达爱慕, 心里缺冰冷的很, 好像脸上挂了冰霜似的不开晴.

很怀念从前真心喜欢一个人的那种情景

纯洁的要死

posted by: kenichii at August 23, 2007 00:00 | link | comments |