Flame to dust, Lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end..
Name: K3nichi N
Hard to grow up,a boy lives in Beijing, China.
today
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
visited *loading* times
2006年的最后一轮CD就要结束了，或多多少都有些感触。
昨天下了大雪，有人在路边堆了雪人，长像很难看。
回远郊的公车也因为天气行进的十分缓慢，邻座的东北男人买了好几份报纸，第一版都是大大的萨达姆的相片。
我向他借报纸来看，他便问我萨达姆有没有被处死。我说看了CNN的直播，应该是死掉了。他的表情有些惆怅，不知道是因为没有亲眼看到萨不吊死，还是在为萨的死在惋惜。然后他又重重地讲要马上回家看电视。
报纸的内容很烂，无聊的笑话，糟糕的漫画，貌似很悬疑的交通肇事逃逸案，我翻了翻就还给了他，另外天色也渐渐暗了。车子里的人们开始接二连三的进入了梦乡，身边的这个东北男人很快就有节奏地打起了呼噜。
车厢里有暖又湿，我也很想睡觉。广播里讲的是路况信息，我也不大喜欢两个dj欢快的带着京味儿的调子。后来有一段杨晨主持的《美食风尚》，可惜非常的短。声音这样迷人的男人，总是让人觉得无法释怀。
车窗上面雾气蒙蒙，窗外灯火阑珊，景色渐渐荒凉起来，终于只剩下高速路上路灯和汽车尾灯。我迷迷糊糊地想着，在前门街头拿着DC的内个家伙不会真的是Kenji吧，长的还真的蛮像。然后又想起宇来，最近总是莫名地想念这个家伙。恩，这个家伙的嘴唇是多么的肉感啊。想去动物园他的小铺子里转转，又怕他不在扑个空。但其实见着了，又怕自己没什么可说的。他也许会问我怎么还没有工作，我说什么才好呢。
舅舅说农历的腊月我会找到一份不错的工作，他一定是打过电话给神婆了。舅舅已经不再让人觉得害怕，甚至还十分亲切。妹妹说人老了，就不再总是训斥别人。
进了腊月我的生日也就快到了，明年是猪年，本来我是该在生日的时候穿上大红的内衣裤，系一根红腰带的。既然不在妈妈身边，我自己也懒得买，恐怕也就糊弄着过了。
之前和刚从欧洲回来的Luc&Deric一起吃了晚饭。Luc说明年他有很多计划，减肥、健身、学中文、周游中国。看起来明年他不会很忙的样子。我们一起吃饭的餐馆里，有一个来自佳木斯的小伙子，Deric特别说这个小伙子如何的热心肠。我们点餐的时候他果然有滔滔不绝地和Deric扯东扯西。Deric又拿出来DC给他看在欧洲拍的相片，讲欧洲的冬天在野地里也有花在开放。我就一边抽烟一边等菜，Luc就一边抽烟一边傻笑。那小伙子去招呼别的客人的时候，Deric小声对我和Luc说'Nice Ass.' Deric 又讲他在地铁里遭遇的一个丑男人如何如何的勾引他，又讲欧洲的物价如何的贵，一盘普通的麻婆豆腐如何如何贵到120块人民币……
Luc在阿姆斯特丹给我买了一件15欧元的黑色T-shirt，前胸烫了黄色的字“Property of city jail AMSTERDAM ”。什么意思没有太明白，但Deric说阿姆斯特丹是Gay的天堂，我想也许这行字也有一番的含义。
下车的时候天完全黑了，也非常的冷，我赶紧戴上帽子，反正回到家，即使头发压扁也没有什么关系。
夜里了.工地的灯不再彻夜的开着.貌似是竣工了.
前天又一场大雾,一切都模糊了,傍晚五六点的光景,这个小镇像是被大雾活吞了.迷茫的什么都看不见.光影被吞噬的小镇,像极了电影中的slience hill.
我怀着我的目的,脚下便有了目的.
古桥,大块的方石,有各自的起伏.在雾中走着, 高高低低.
车站也很荒凉, 垃圾胡乱的堆在路边, 等待拉活儿的黑车司机,抽着烟,无望地张望.
我到城里剪了头发, 剃掉了胡子.
I was Woke up by mum`s call this morning, its seemed that she was a little upset.
She asked that if i had found a job, I lied to her and said yes.
"And Ur sister?"she asked. I said no.
She told me she got diabetes, peacefully.
The firtst time she got the report about her blood examination, she cried for a whole day.
Just like she had already seen the end of her life. she was just scared.
Then, she talked about some details about the blood report that i didnt unstand very much, but I knew, its was not optimistic.
She said that she was just drove crazy by her youngest brother.
He is a garbage in the others eyes, but i think they had never gave him any chance.
I was a child when he was put in jail in his twenties because of plunderage .
Since the, he was marked as burglar, thief, some person unbelievable.
When He got out from the jail, its was the real beginning of his tough life.
Hardly to find a job, cold faces everywhere, been laughted at anytime.
I think he gave up.
And finally, he proved to all of us, he was really an asshole.
He made himself garbage, pilferage, alcohol, date with hookers.
His life was messed up.
Now, an accident happened to him, he fell dowm from a high speeding motor bike.
He bled inside his head.
He was in a fury with everyone. Maybe he thougt he was going to the grave before his 40.
He found the only person he could complain to, was himself.
There is no God.
' He refused injection, and run away, he is killing himself.' she said.
' yes, he deserves'
' Anything else?' she was going to goodbye.
' Nothing, Mum.'
' I just miss U and Ur sister' she started to sobbing.
' We miss U, too. Mum.'
' Bye, my son.'
' bye, Mum.'
刚刚又和妹妹吵架了。
是不是我缺乏耐心或者是言语过于刻薄了呢。
是不是应该分开一段时间让她自己来面对生活呢？
舅舅说她肯定会受到挫折，这也是我所担心的。
妹妹啊，你什么时候能成熟起来呢。
唉。唉。唉。
